Crackwhore Disheveled™

Maybe if you didn’t look like you had been doing crack with Whitney in her bathroom the night before, that police officer wouldn’t have made that mistake. If you are going to look like you just rolled out of a crack den, then expect to be treated like you look like you just rolled out of a crack den.

And last time I checked, “ghetto fabulous” was not the typical dressing style of a United States Congresswoman.

Here are some examples you might want to try to emulate, Cynthia:

California’s own Diane Watson & Barbara Lee

Florida’s Corrine Brown

And last, but not least, my absolute favorite jurist in the entire world, Janice Rogers Brown. Now this is what class looks like, Cynthia.

If you want to be taken seriously, try looking the part.

Oh lordy. Today must be laugh-your-ass-off Friday.

Some fun “facts” about my home state. And personally, we never owned any livestock.

And for good measure: The Texas State Song

**UPDATE**

23 basic rules for driving in Texas. Uh, honey, you were wondering where I got it from – well, there you go.